The holiday season is here — the one time of year when conference planners try to relax, exhale, and pretend our brains aren’t still mentally calculating meeting space capacities. In theory, this is the season of peace, joy, and hot cocoa. In reality? It’s the season of catching ourselves thinking, “Wow, what I really want for Christmas is a freight elevator that never breaks.”

Everyone else seems to be wishing for cozy blankets, gourmet chocolates, or the latest trending gadget. But planners? We have our own list — and trust me, it’s practical, oddly specific, and sprinkled with a bit of trauma.

For starters, a venue that replies to emails in fewer than three business days would feel like a Christmas miracle. Speakers who upload their slides on time? Honestly, someone cue the Hallmark music. A session grid that doesn’t require a PhD to revise, staff who read instructions before asking questions, and Wi-Fi that holds steady with 800 people connected at once… these are the gifts dreams are made of.

And we can’t forget the classics: the BEO with no edits needed, a room set that is exactly what you ordered, and signage that points to places that actually exist. Throw in a coffee IV drip, a badge printer that doesn’t jam, and a magical portal that transports you from one end of the convention center to the other in under thirty seconds, and suddenly it’s starting to feel like the perfect holiday.

What’s funny is that underneath the humor, these wishes all point to the same thing: conference planners spend all year making the experience fantastic for everyone else. So during the holidays, it feels nice — even for a moment — to imagine a world where a few things go perfectly for us, too.

Whatever you’re wishing for this season, I hope you get a moment of quiet, a good laugh, something delicious to drink, and a tiny miracle or two. Whether your Christmas includes family, friends, travel, or hiding from your inbox, I hope it brings a bit of rest before the chaos of conference season kicks back in.

And if Santa could toss in a functioning freight elevator? Well… you deserve that too.

– The Anonymous Planner